better than never

I've been in such a funk since I crashed. I can't write a passage, sentence, or word without replaying the events. Even without the recollection I feel this impending sense of failure. Like it's been following me for the last year and a half. Since I ended the engagement. I so completely cut myself off from that life that I don't know... maybe their was no closure. I don't even know what I am seeking. Love? Friendship? Acceptance? Pity? I want to cry sometimes, but their are no tears. Nothing. The scene in the movie where the character stare at their own reflection.... and come to grips with themselves. Except that I lack the epiphany

~PullTab

ahh well

i don't know what to say anymore... i'm completely blank these last couple of days. I still am turning over the events of sunday morning. My host family has been extremely gracious and very forgiving. So much so that I feel even more guilty about the whole thing. I feel all alone again. I suppose Anchorage is where I shall start anew. Mayhaps things will fall into place.

The Rosanero have really turned things around. They have reentered the top ten of Serie A and should be able to avoid relegation to Serie B.

~PullTab

are we there yet??

well it's been a few days since my last post, and what a busy week it has been. I enjoyed a fantastic day of hiking and exploring the lake. All was well in terms of work as well as on the home front. Until last night or this morning rather. I was returning to the apartment and rounding the last bend headed for the home stretch, I Crashed!! I came around the corner the back end slid out and as I hit the snowbank going sideways the tires re gripped and I did a half barrel roll. I was completely unharmed. I feel terribly embarrassed, it being such a small town. Everyone that knows the family has been calling or stopping by to make sure no one was hurt. The only thing injured was my dignity and any last shred of self respect. Just when I thought I was making moves in the right direction.

i am so blah right now

~PullTab