better than never

I've been in such a funk since I crashed. I can't write a passage, sentence, or word without replaying the events. Even without the recollection I feel this impending sense of failure. Like it's been following me for the last year and a half. Since I ended the engagement. I so completely cut myself off from that life that I don't know... maybe their was no closure. I don't even know what I am seeking. Love? Friendship? Acceptance? Pity? I want to cry sometimes, but their are no tears. Nothing. The scene in the movie where the character stare at their own reflection.... and come to grips with themselves. Except that I lack the epiphany

~PullTab